Its been a long road.
I still flinch at the thought of getting make up on someone’s shirt. I still worry that I am too fat for my size 6 clothing. I still feel nauseated by the person I see in the mirror every single day, knowing that she let you get away with it all.
I still feel every hand print you laid, the air escaping my lungs as you held me down by the throat, the familiar sting that remained on my face, the crack my rib made as you pounded it one too many times, the numbness that would overwhelm me, the dark thoughts that would consume me, the bruises that I concealed so well – it’s like reliving a nightmare over and over again.
We never fully heal until we accept the deepest darkest parts of our lives. I can tell you what its like, to sink into the abyss. I can tell you the swim back to the surface is long, hard and there will be many times where you feel like giving up. But I can tell you, that once you take your first breath of air from up above and see the sun still rises to shine through another day, it will all be worth it.
Still afloat, more content with life than ever before.
Until next time xx